


Miserable at best

by thebestworstthing



Category: Dreamwastaken
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:08:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26148451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebestworstthing/pseuds/thebestworstthing
Summary: Dream never meant for it to end up like this.(Or, face reveals are a scary thing to face when you've spent so long hiding)
Relationships: None
Comments: 13
Kudos: 185





	Miserable at best

**Author's Note:**

> hello my lovelies, this is a vent fic i wrote bc ive been in my feels recently but these boys make it slightly better <3
> 
> pls dont shove this in dream's face. i respect him whether or not we ever get to see his face, this is just me projecting and coping with my own stuff ahah

He never intended for this to happen. To become this faceless minecraft icon. Known only by his internet persona and old minecraft skin with a dumb smiley face on it.

It started as a way to protect himself. His name and voice were associated with several cringy attempts at a youtube career from high school, and the bullying he received after was ruthless. Nobody is crueller than 14 year olds and his experiences have proven that.

So he remained anonymous for his first few videos. He wanted to see how the community would react to his content before he gave away his real identity. If he already has fans, the hate won’t get to him as much. It’s a simple protection strategy but it works.

Until he gains a million subscribers in just a few months. And suddenly the thought of revealing his face to a group of eager viewers makes his heart race with anxiety. While he knows now that people will support him regardless of what he looks like, he now has expectations to live up to and the pressure is immense.

He becomes scared to show his face to anyone, even the people he trusts. Him and George argue over it but Dream can’t bring himself to show even his best friend the face behind the screen. He can sense George’s hurt and it stings knowing his best friend thinks he doesn’t trust him.

But Dream has dug himself into this hole now and no matter how hard he tries, there’s no way to escape.

Another donation appears on his screen, pulling Dream out of his thoughts, asking when he is planning on doing a face reveal. It’s like they knew what he was thinking. Anxiety blooms in his chest and he pulls his jumper sleeves down over his hands, mumbling a rushed excuse and ending the stream quickly. He didn’t beat his speed running record but he came fairly close and spent a good few hours streaming so it’s acceptable for him to say he’s tired and leave at this point.

He turns his computer off and stares blankly at the dark screen while willing his heart to calm down. His hands are sweaty as his pulls his headset off and the clatter of it hitting the desk makes him flinch away.

Dream is no stranger to panic attacks, but it doesn’t mean they get any easier. His hands shake and his heart pounds while he tries to calm himself down. He curls up into a ball on his bed and shakes silently, tears run down his face until he buries it in his knees. His chest burns as he struggles to breathe and it hurts so much.

In this moment, Dream would give anything to have a normal life. To drag himself to be more than the faceless character he’s created, the mask he hides behind every day.

His phone chimes, there’s a message from Sapnap asking if he’s okay. He replies _Yeah I’m all good, just super tired._ He wishes it wasn’t a lie.

He throws his phone to the side, as he does so his sleeve rides up slightly and he catches a glimpse of the white scars littering his arm.

_Would his fans still support him if they knew?_

_Would his friends?_

_How long can he keep going like this?_

Dream turns the light in his room off and climbs into his bed. And if, when he finally falls asleep, he dreams of meeting George in person and no longer having to hide himself.

Well, that’s nobody’s business is it.

**Author's Note:**

> if yall ever wanna talk hit my up on twitter @404rinotfound, im new to dttwt but i wanna make new friends and have fun so come hmu <3


End file.
